robert Benchley

“Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.”

“Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.”

“For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.”

“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.”

“Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.”

“The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him.”