Stephen Leacock

“About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!”

“Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.”

“Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof... The essence of humor is human kindliness.”

“It may be those who do most, dream most.”

“Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour.”

“Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.”

“Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.”