Douglas adams
“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
“A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it around.”
“Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.” [Arthur Dent, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy]
“Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]
“First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII—and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web we’ve realized it’s a brochure.”
“Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.” [So Long, and Thanks For the Fish]
“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.” (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”
“Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars, etc... and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons.”
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”
“Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, “This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in, fits me rather neatly, doesn’t it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!”
“This is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it’s still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything’s going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. I think this may be something we need to be on the watch out for.”
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
“In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.”
“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.”
“It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.”
“Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.”
“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.” (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
“So long, and thanks for all the fish.”
“Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-boggingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.” (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
“The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.” (Mostly Harmless)
“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”
“There is a theory that states: ‘If anyone finds out what the universe is for it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizarrely inexplicable.’ There is another theory that states: ‘This has already happened.’ ”
“This planet has--or rather had--a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it was not the small pieces of paper that were unhappy.”
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
“To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.”
“With a rubber duck, one's never alone.” [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]
“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”